David Chapman, Terry Cooke`s agent.
"I can genuinely say that Terry Cooke rarely drinks alcohol, certainly does not indulge in anything stronger and leads quite an uneventful social life."
Peter Reid, Sunderland manager :
"After those 45 minutes, people might wonder if I know what I am doing. It was that bad. It was like Billy Smart`s Circus!"
Fabio Capello, Roma coach, on his captain's sending-off for questioning a refereeing decision :
"Who else but the captain can argue over a decision with the referee?"
Caprice - a model:
"Do I support a London football team? I do. I support Manchester United."
Rio Ferdinand :
"Who's your favourite British player?" :
......"Roy Keane."
Jesus Gil :
"I'm Jesus Gil, not Jesus Christ."
Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia:
"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams..."
Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LC QF, 1992:
"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy
some new ones"
Bobby Gould :
"Del Piero reminds me of Robert Rosario when I had him at Coventry."
Robbie Earle's apparently referring to Egil Olsen :
"He asks for a bit more penetration - but not in the bedroom."
John Gregory :
"I find it very hard to accept that Mr Winter reported me in the first place. I called the referee an idiot and used a few expletives as well."
"If it's a draw after extra time, my solution would be to have a referee shoot-out."
John Gr...oh, you guessed.
"It will be a difficult couple of days. It's difficult now and it will be difficult tomorrow."
Yes, Gary Neville.
Harry Redknapp over Di Canio's alleged crowd gesture :
"He could have been showing that the score was 1-0."
Egil Olsen :
"In my opinion, Brazil play too much possession."
Sasa Curcic :
"There is a world of difference between football and sex - no question about that. I can't achieve an orgasm by looking at a team-mate,but it would be a totally different matter with Cindy Crawford."
NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning :
"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy
to hang around in defence."
Alan McInally ([ex Celtic, Aston Villa and Bayern Munich] during a Rangers v Hearts game) :
"Yes, it looks as if Hearts have reverted to a five man back four."
George Best :
"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just
squandered"
-
John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager when told a concussed striker did not know who he was :
"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
Berti Vogts, Germany coach
If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim
-
Arrigo Sacchi, Italy coach, defending a meagre playing record :
You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey
-
Richard Moller Nielsen, Denmark coach :
Love is good for footballers, as long as it is not at half-time
-
Gareth Southgate's mother reflects publicly on her son's penalty miss :
Why didn't you just belt it son?
Sunderland v Leicester, Radio 5 Live :
The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil (32
degrees) and the entertainment value is not much above nil
Trevor Brooking :
"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different."
Howard Wilkinson :
"I'm a firm believer that if the other side scores first you have to score twice to win."
Alex Ferguson :
"If we can play like that every week we'll get some level of consistency."
Graham Turner (former Wolves manager) :
"People always remember the second half."
Ray Harford (former Luton manager, after goalkeeper Les Sealey was concussed in collision with an opponent) :
"He still looks a bit dopey, but it's hard to tell the difference with him."
Dave Bassett (when Wimbledon were top of the first division after four games) :
"My mum wants the season to end tomorrow."
Brian Clough (on his young Forest side) :
"Acne is a bigger problem than injuries."
John McGrath (former Preston manager, recalling his days as Newcastle centre-half) :
"Joe Harvey once said to me: 'I've got a special job for you today. I want to see how fast their centre-forward can limp.'"
Dave Bassett (after another Wimbledon defeat) :
"I'm not too happy with our attack. Some of them couldn't hit a cow's backside with a banjo."
Howard Wilkinson (after a one-all draw) :
"If they hadn't scored, we would've won"
Bob Bevan (on Tony Adams' drink-driving conviction) :
"I hear Tony Adams is appealing. Apparently he wasn't pissed. He was just trying to get the wall back another 10 yards."
Joe Royle (on Earl Barrett) :
"The trouble with Earl is that he's one paced .... Zooommmmm."
Graham Taylor (on Tony Daley) :
"He's only got one trick, but it's a good one isn't it ?"
Eric Cantona (Explaining his second sending off in consecutive games at Arsenal, 1994) :
"The first wasn't a foul, so I thought, if they want a foul I'll give them a foul."
Gordon Strachan (On the perils of heat treatment and icepacks) :
"My bum has been through every temperature known to man."
Chris Kiwomya (1993) :
"Girls first; football second."
Ron Atkinson (On why he moved from the stand to the touchline during a game in which his Aston Villa side were playing Sheffield United, 1993) :
"I just wanted to give them some technical advice. I told them the game had started."
Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge :
I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got plenty of
help
Dominik Diamond (Radio host and football columnist, 1994) :
"If football was meant to be an art, God wouldn't have invented Carlton Palmer."
Ron Atkinson :
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."
Brian Moore :
"Rosenborg have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them."
Barry Davies :
"Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil."
Elton Welsby :
"And now for the goals at Carrow Road where it ended nil - nil."
John Helm :
"Viv Anderson has pissed a fatness test."
Norman Whiteside :
"The only thing I have in common with George Best is that we come from the same place ... play for the same club ... and were discovered by the same man."
Elton Welsby :
"Football today would certainly not be the same if it had not existed."
A somewhat cynical Jan Aage Fjortoft :
"Juninho will only need to learn three words of English : Pound, Thank You and Bye Bye."
The New York Post :
"John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday."
David Coleman :
"Don't tell those coming in the result of that fantastic match, but let's have another look at Italy's winning goal."
Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39 :
"There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch."
John Motson, BBC1 Commentator, During Euro '96 :
"I was about to say, before something far more interesting interrupted ..."
Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game in England :
"If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it twice as hard for them."
Javier Clemente, Spanish Coach, on Scotland's 1996 Under-21 side :
This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players."
Ian Wright, Arsenal striker, on Tony Adams' confession to alcoholism :
"It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up."